When people ask me what I'm afraid of, I say being alone. I don't mean independence, the gods know I like that. I would give my left arm for more of it - which is ironic seeing as it would make me more dependant, but I digress.
What I mean is the feeling that you are completely alone. Sure, there are many "friends" and many people who claim to be there for you, but you know you can't really trust them. I mean loneliness. Just not being able to speak to anyone, finding yourself alone, feeling like you have nobody in the world. This is my fear.
So it really isn't a wonder why I constantly ask myself, "Why the hell do you keep pushing people away?". The answer being because I'd rather push people away than have to say goodbye because it's just the end of a friendship. I can't stand goodbyes though unfortunately, with my character flaws pushing everyone away, I have to settle for many "WELL FUCK YOU THEN"s, and I've heard more than my fair share of those.
I have nothing but a mask I hide behind to pretend to be strong. I have nobody but myself, in the end, and that is true for everyone else too. I can list so many other things to say but that would be even more boring than this already is.
Goodnight the interwebz.
