This is what I wrote down in the notes application of my phone at 1am a day or two back. I left my laptop to go to bed wide awake because I was driving myself mad. How? I was thinking. To be more specific, I was thinking too much.
I've noticed myself over-analysing everything recently. How people act; what they say; how they say it; what they really mean by it. I then dissect what they say and try and figure out whether the derivations of the particular words or phrases used were literal, metaphoric, or lost in translation over the ages. I try and pick out the particular tonal qualities possibly picking up on the hints of a dialect or an accent.
I don't really mind being analytical about life and behaviour, but I'm afraid that it will interfere with my daily life. In some cases, it already has. It's not the first time that I've been called out because it seems like I'm trying to be superior by pointing out the flaws in what someone is saying. In reality I'll be thinking aloud and they will take my stream of thoughts as calculated insult, when it will merely be observation. Up until recently I was simply passing them off as an apology or a joke whereas in reality, it was always involuntary.
What seems like a rush for superiority or some sort of mental conditioning to develop quicker wit is actually just me trying to dissect everything. I would apologise to everyone who's ever taken offence to something I've thought aloud about, but I don't have 25 years to spare. I'll be shot in 10 anyway.
Until my next rambling,
Goodnight the interwebz
