Two phrases have popped into my mind this morning while conversing with a good friend and nursing one of those hangovers which makes your whole body tremble as you try to nurse what's left of your pride from the night before and its aftermath.
1) "We are all victims of circumstance"
This to me makes a lot of sense and puts people into two categories. The first being people who seem to be shat on by life in general because they simply fall flat against the wall which circumstance represents. These people seem to lack the lucidity needed to make their own lives work. It's unfortunate but very real and, in fact, most people fall into this category. It's worrying to me that we have some such a long way as a race but only because of the few people who fall in the second category, hence why we are still so far behind.
The other group of people, the rare ones, the ones I envy greatly, are the ones who look circumstance dead in the eyes and take control of it. Those people who we tend to see in the films who have an epiphany and then make their lives their own. I have yet to learn how to do this. Maybe one day.
2) "Luck is there for people to rely on when they lose hope"
If you know me well enough, or even if you have read a couple posts here, you will know that I am cynical about many things. One of them being luck. I hate the idea of luck, I think it's nonsense. I imagine that the reason why I believe it is nonsense is because I wish so desperately that it were real. Then I could blame all my fuck ups on bad luck instead of knowing that they are my fault.
Kind of like how humanity always needs hope so they create false hope just to convince themselves there is still some after they've really given up. Luck is a waste of time. It's false. It kills you in the end.
On that note I would like to thank the handful of people who still visit this page. I haven't actually been on it for the last 5 or so months but it seems that I still get regular visitors hence this post. I still write, I just don't publish anything. I am too defeatist nowadays. Circumstance dictates that this is a waste of time, but then again writing has always been on the borderline between public art and personal escapism.
Good afternoon, the interwebz
Maybe I will write soon, or maybe I will wait another few months, who knows.
