There is a proposal to convert a disused farmhouse in your neighbourhood into a disco. Write a letter to your local council strongly objecting to this development and stating your reasons as to why it should be stopped.
10th September 2010
Dear Mayor,
if you are honestly taking this beautiful relic of the village and turning it into a vessel of sin, shame on you!
Did you really think that all the practising and devout Catholic residents would stand down and watch what was one a lovely home into a house of temptation? We, the residents, have discussed this matter for about ten minutes before old Mr. Mallia had to use the bathroom and we all sort of drifted off-topic. He was gone for a frightfully long time. Almost makes you wonder how lonely he must be without his wife. Who would've guessed that she would die in such a freak full-contact rugby accident? But I digress.
As I was saying, this disco thing should not be built. Think of our grandchildren coming to visit on the weekends. They will witness this drunken debauchery only a few times before they start to imitate it. They grew up in purely Catholic homes with strong faith and a strict Catholic upbringing, God knows they are sponges when it comes to picking up and emulating all they see and hear. It will be impossible to say our prayers with that hideous noise coming from just down the road. I deplore you and anyone who wants to instil this loud and unholy thing into our lives. We are all quite advanced in age and the sound will also interfere with our hearing aids.
I strongly believe that, since we Roman Catholics are, by far, morally superior to all those ruffians and Godless hooligans, we should have the final say. I urge you to do the right thing and appease us, the Lord will reward you generously.
Thank you for your patience and understanding,
Mrs Testaferrata Moroni Viani
