Travel

I'll be posting my amusing essays on here just because it looks like I blog regularly.

Travel

It isn't hard to notice that the majority of all travel stories heard and read are about places enjoyed or places one "must" visit. What about the other side of the coin?

Somalia, formerly known as the "Somali Democratic Republic" when under Communist rule, is arguably the worst place on Earth. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some warrant out for my life because I've had the audacity to mention Somalia in this essay. It is possible to visit, you simply need a few hundred armed guards with you so that you might just be able to escape alive, albeit raped and wounded. I think my main reason for being attracted to this war-torn nation is the piracy. Honestly now, who wouldn't want to meet a real swashbuckler? Possibly the people who have just been shot by one.

Another place that I must mention is the Democratic Republic of the Congo, mostly because I find its name ironically amusing. the sexual violence itself is considered the worst in the world; the children are either trained killers or prostitutes; and the peace treaty signed in 2003 was completely ignored to the point that there have been about five and a half million deaths attributed to unnecessary violence but, hey, at least they don't speak French. Oh, they do that too? Now I can't think of a reason why you'd want to visit. In fact, I don't see why anybody would want to. Bloody French!

Finally, my personal favourite "Democratic People's Republic", the "Stalinist Theme Park" itself, North Korea. Luckily for us Maltese, we can visit very easily, all we need it to go through about a million forms and technicalities. You have to pity anyone from the US or South Korea, which actually do have a difficult time getting in, the main difficulty being downright denial of access. Once you do get into everyone's favourite single-party state, you can start enjoying the theme park's rides. You must remember to keep your arms and legs in check at all times and to not stray away from your government-issued bodyguard because you will be shot. Everyone speaks about countries having their own history and culture, North Korea has its own version of current world news too! Good old Kim. I can't think of why not to visit.

It isn't always about dream destinations, you know. Sometimes nightmare destinations are just so much more interesting.